Title: Only Lonely

Author: Cathey Scully

Rating: R

Spoilers: Trust No 1

Category: V, R, A

Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance

Summary: Only lonely on the inside, didn't mean to take away your dreams.

Archive: Sure, if you want.  Just tell me where so Mulder and I can visit.

Feedback: Please!  Even the smallest note is appreciated.  
CatheyScully@the-pentagon.com or Scully@ga.prestige.net

Disclaimer: Yeah, they're not mine.  Don't bother suing, cause you'll get 
like $2 and a fic notebook.  The title and summary belongs to Hootie and the 
Blowfish, the song it is derived from is "Only Lonely."

Notes: Sometimes it really sucks to be alone on Valentine's Day.  Believe me, 
I know.

~	~	~

He hoped the cosmos were happy.  Considering they'd already taken so much 
from him, what was another day of internal torture as far as they were 
concerned?  It was Valentine's Day.  The most annoying, superficial, yet 
painful day of the year.  Followed of course on the pain scale only by the 
day he'd been forced to leave the woman he loved and their newborn son.

It had been over a month since their failed, ill-fated attempt at a reunion.  
Thirty-six days, two hours and 4 minutes to be exact.  It felt like it had 
been forever.  When he closed his eyes, he saw conflicting images; Scully 
looking absolutely crushed standing on the platform at the train station as 
the train he was riding rushed past, and Scully running in the opposite 
direction of him, calling his name with so much anguish that his heart broke 
all over again.

Now, here he was.  Sitting in a dump of an apartment, listening to the small 
radio, contemplating the fates and why they must hate him.  Scully would have 
laughed at him and told him that it was just a coincidence, that there was no 
grand conspiracy against him.  Scully.

He wondered if she missed him.  Of course she did, right?  He wondered if 
William missed him.  He wondered if William even knew that he was gone.  In 
her last email, Scully said that she told William about him everyday.  Mulder 
wished he was there to see William as he grew.  He wished that he was there 
to hold Scully in his arms.  Everyday he cursed the bastards keeping them 
apart.

Gone was the man he'd been before.  Gone was the new dad, ready and willing 
to jump into fatherhood.  Gone was the happy lover he'd been with Scully.  
The Fox Mulder that everyone knew was gone.  In his place was a dark, 
untrusting, lonely man; he had reverted back to being the same man he'd been 
before Scully had walked into his life.  He'd been a stupid, lonely, asshole 
before she'd brightened his home, his office, and his heart.

"Damn it Scully, I need you so much," he wasn't even sure that it was his 
voice that spoke.  "Need you so fucking much," he whispered, finding all his 
energy gone.  He closed his eyes and was lost to sleep in an instant.

She was in his arms.  It took his breath away when he realized that he was 
home.  He was in her apartment, and she was holding their son.  He looked 
down at the two of them, his eyes shining.  Scully smiled up at him.  They 
stared at each other for a few minutes before he saw her lips move with the 
words "I love you."  He opened his own mouth to respond in kind when Scully 
and William vanished.  He was alone again.

Mulder woke with a start.  He knew what he had to do.  Regardless of whether 
it was safe or not, Mulder prepared to leave.  He had to go home.  He had to 
be with Scully, with their son.  He couldn't be lonely anymore.

End!  Please tell me how it was, I really just wrote it on a whim.  
CatheyScully@the-pentagon.com or Scully@ga.prestige.net